Not only does it solve the world's fuel consumption and therefor pollution problems, but also tackles raising levels of obesity and my life's lack-of-awesomeness....
...Ladies and Gentlemen I bring you, the 'Tele-Fit 5000'
(huge applause from the whole world)
So in short this device teleports you to another Tele-Fit device anywhere in the world, burning only calories on the way. So as to keep it safe they are stored in the back of restaurants so you can munch up some glorious calories only to burn them in an instant on the way to your next eatery and ultimately your destination. It's going to revolutionise transport, empty roads freeing up land for more housing, make fat people thin, make lame people cool, it's going to fix everything!
Although only in the imaginary test phases, I have imagined it working very well, only yesterday imagining using it to go to the shops and back for a twix and burning 168 calories in the process (but then I imagined I felt guilty because the twix had about 250 calories in it).
I will guide you through every stage of the Tele-fit 5000's development from imagining, to doodling, to giving up, to forgetting about it, to having someone else make it years down the line (but giving it a better name), to filing a court case against them, to losing the court case (and in the process custody of my children), to becoming a drunk, to attempting suicide every night but being too cowardly to pull the trigger, to realising the dead prostitute on the floor has been there for 5 month's and I've been gnawing on here swollen knee's for sustenance, to realising it's not a prostitute but my neighbor's cat that I've been paying for sex, to paying the dead cat for sex.
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